just another day in the life of yours truly

i wake up today to my boyfriend coming home from work. i had only slept for 4 hours, since i was up crying until 230am. he says "hi" kisses me on the....forehead? to bring you up to speed, we haven't been doing so well lately and have just realized recently that our relationship, if something didn't change, was coming to a bitter end. we have been together for a year and a half and have a 9 month old beautiful baby boy, who i will call "r.e.", and another on the way. neither were planned, and yes, i have heard of birth control. now that being said, i will go on.

he works nights so he comes home in the early mornings. he usually wakes me with a hug and a kiss...on the LIPS, thank you. wtf...i have no idea what this is all about and yesterday he spent all day ignoring me. so, here we go. i flip my fuckin lid. ask him if he wants to be with me. he says "no.". i asked, " do you love me anymore?", at first he said "yes", but then that changed to "no, not anymore" after i bog the fuck outta him. finally, i said "good get out.", and pestered him until he got up and went to sleep in the truck. i go to my dr's appt to see if this pregnancy is a "viable" one, they have no answer, maybe next week the u/s will be clearer.

i get home, he's inside packing. i ask him calmly, "did you mean what you said? do you not wanna be with me anymore?" he said, "no i do love you and wanna be with you, but i think i should move out.". i said " i think that's a very good idea. i can NOT control my temper when it comes to you right now.". he said, "and i wanna work on my communication with you.".

awesome.

i start helping him pack, which is by the way, one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. i am still holding out hope that we will work thru our problems and i really do believe that he does too. we love each other, but we need to sort our shit out before we can move forward....please, let this help us, not hurt us....to whatever powers that be, help....?