it breaks my heart...

it's so hard to be separted from the man i love, the father of my children and my best friend.


he came to spend the night with me. his night anyway. :) he works nights, so he came to the house at 6:30am. it was so nice to be in his arms. it seems like what's been forever since we have held each other and loved on one another. it was nice to just have him here today. he slept, cuz it was his "night" time, but i have never been so thankful to have him asleep, just cuz he was in the house. he got up this evening and hung out with R.E. and i. we watched shows and just talked, like we used to.

then came time for him to go to work....R.E. didn't stop crying until he had nearly cried himself to sleep in my arms. i would try to love on him and make it better. he pushed me away with such anger, i can't help but wonder if he's mad at me for making his daddy leave. i mean, i know it was a mutual decision, but all he knows is that i'm here, and daddy isn't. it breaks my heart to feel like i could've tried harder, there was something MORE i could've done....