what the fuck is wrong with me...?

It's just after midnight here, and I'm sitting here, R.E. asleep to my left, Donnie Darko on the t.v. and BAWLING my fucking eyes out. What the FUCK is wrong with me? I mean, I know I've always been a little crazy, but right now, for some odd reason, I have THOUSANDS of random thoughts all racing through my head. None of them make ANY sense, and NONE of them have anything to do with each other OR anything in particular. I just know that what I'm feeling right now is not at all "normal" and it's definitely not something that I experience often, if have experienced at all previously. I feel alone and scared. I have NO control over any of it. I keep feeling like someone's watching me, like something's wrong. I have looked ALL over the house multiple times tonight, to try and put my mind at ease, but to no avail. I'm jumping at every little noise, my eyes are starting to play tricks on me, and I'm really starting to freak out. I guess maybe, it's the first time I have felt TRULY alone in a while. The house is quiet, R.E. is sleeping, and even the cats are sneaking around silently through the house. I dunno, things just don't feel right. I thought that maybe if I put it down in here, that it'd put my mind a little more at ease, and maybe it worked; slightly. So, I guess I'm off to fight or face my fears, too early to say yet. What those fears are? I'm not even sure...

-B